TA in Pills 2-1.4 Psychological Hungers 4 - Structure Hunger

Psychological Hungers 4
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(Psychological Hungers drive man to sustain the homoeostasis of the psychic organisation)
"Words with special meaning are marked * in text and explained in Notes"

Structure Hunger

Spending time in a structured way helps us in avoiding boredom. This is perhaps the main reason people across all age groups like watching TV or playing entertaining games or singing a tune in the head. All of us also seek freedom from monotony* and stereotypy*.  Structuring time also helps in giving and receiving strokes and in interacting with others. 

TA recognises six ways in which we structure time:

• Withdrawal: This is the time we spend with ourself. It happens when we are alone and also when we are in company of others. Berne says that when we are humming a tune, some music is playing in the background. It is the same reason we engage in thinking when the mind is unoccupied.  . . .  Also when we are alone our mind is engaged in thinking about people, things, plans, events, activities, appointments, engagements; And also in grandiosity*, pleasure, joy and happiness; or smarting in hurt, pain, injury, sorrow, anger, insult, embarrassment, hate, resentment, victimisation; or in autistic thinking*.  And also when we are in the company of others we withdraw from others at mind level and become occupied in thinking something about a person, thing or event; or about what or why someone in the group said. 

• Ritual: Ritual is the name for structured interactions. An example of ritual is exchanging greetings. Rituals are also engagements in prayers, chanting, singing; or doing the same things the same way at the same time; These engagements could be of one to five interactions or in lengthy interactions. They are however, structured. 

• Activity: The word activity means work. We spend time with another or others in activities where the interactions concern the work or activity in hand. An example is people discussing a topic in a meeting. Or carpenters working together to make a piece of furniture, or an accountant sitting with his assistant to examine an accounts statement.

• Pastimes: These are 15 to 25 interactions long discussions about a common topic or issue or matter. People who know each other discuss politics, sports, economic issues, happenings in a city or country. These are pastimes. They speak about the same things, the same way or in a new way i.e. with current relevance. They have a couple of topics readily at hand to start when one ends. Mothers speaking about their children's studies or progress in school is also pastime.

• Games: Games are interpersonal engagements that generate preferred feelings. These feelings are of pain, hurt, injury, dislike, anger, embarrassment and one of many other similar. Game engagements generate pseudo-intimacy. They usually grow out of pastimes. Games are characterised by a switch and crossup. The interaction usually slips from topic to person at switch. Thereafter both parties spend time in wondering why the other said something and in blaming, justifying and planning what to do next time round. The best way game is identified is by asking oneself this question: What happens again and again when I interact with my spouse, brother, mil, friend or someone else in a close relationship. 

• Intimacy: Intimacy is time spent with someone with whom we enjoy closeness without restraint. It is also a state of interaction when we feel comfortable expressing our thinking, feeling, emotions, ideas candidly, openly, honestly without hurting the other or without we ourself carrying baggage of guilt or for having said something that may have hurt the other. 

The way we spend time speaks a lot about the nature of our relationships with people we are close.

This blog comes from Ajit Karve from Pune. I am a qualified TA Practitioner. I specialise in using TA for personal growth, personal development, personal effectiveness and for transformational change. I can be reached on +919822024037. Please feel free to seek clarifications by writing to me on ajitpkarve@gmail.com or taforyouandme@gmail.com. 

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Notes:

* Monotony: Tedious, repetitive, non entertaining activity or tasks
* stereotypy: The persistent repetition of any activity for no obvious reason. We take up walking up and down in a room instead of sitting quietly as an example.
*Grandiosity: Unrealistic sense of superiority

*Autistic Thinking: Thinking about hurting oneself, or hurting another.

** Berne E., Hello Book