TA in Pills - 1-7.2 TA Racket Theory 2 - How to end rackets (1)

TA Racket Theory 2
(Racket is the name for inauthentic, repeating, attention gaining, manipulative expressions.)
"Words with special meaning are marked * in text and explained in Notes"
How to end Rackets (1)

Rackets are reality of life. No one is spared. Rackets are lock-ins that are system driven mostly beyond our conscious awareness. Awareness is the key. Awareness is of two types. Conscious awareness and by being consciously aware. Committing oneself and becoming consciously aware and dealing with it is rewarding. To have awareness one needs to know. The present moment is all we have to make a choice and act on it. I am listing a variety of rackets we engage in:

  • Thinking rackets: They happen because of attaching meaning. (They do not praise me, so I am not good or they do not like me. Solution: Ask to be appreciated.) They happen because of remaining locked. (Worry racket because of giving no answer to What if? Give an answer and act on it or have an action plan.) Dislike and hate racket. (Understand that it amounts drinking poison and expecting the other to die or be hurt.) Sad or sorrow racket. (Being at the receiving end of insult, slighting, abuse, dressing down. The delivery has already hurt. What sense does it make to then hurt ourself by not letting the pain go.) Guilt racket. (I did the thing or it happened at my hands and then feel bad. or I did it innocently and then realise that it was wrong. I did it knowingly but now realise I shouldn't have done it and so feel bad. Gone is gone. A better morrow lies before me. By simmering in guilt I am denying myself the opportunity to enjoy better times.)
  • Feeling Rackets: Feelings are signals much like traffic lights. Traffic responds to the colour of the signals - Green means drive through, yellow means stop and red means don't move. Respond to sadness by expressing the feeling. Express it to someone close or someone you trust. If there is no one go to a public place engage with someone unknown and relate your story. Anger is expressed by following NVC* method. It is done in four steps. One: Report the Observation. (I see that you are not paying attention to me) Two: Report the feeling. (I find my self being ignored. I am feeling angry.) Three: Report the need. (I want you to look at me and listen to me.) Four: Make a request. (PLEASE stop watching TV look at me and listen to me attentively. PLEASE. And thank you for obliging.)  Fear is overcome by accepting it and being ready if what we fear turns out to be true. Surprise happens because we are taken unawares. It is overcome by expressing it. (Oh God! I am surprised. I wish I had time to notice.) Disgust is addressed by becoming comfortable with the situation. (When caught in traffic. When guests are not arriving and we are experiencing resulting discomfort. We are at the rail station. The train is late. No announcement is forthcoming. In such and similar situations take the worst case scenario and get mentally ready for it.)
More in my next blog . . . . .

This blog comes from Ajit Karve from Pune. I am a qualified TA Practitioner. I specialise in using TA for personal growth, personal development, personal effectiveness and for transformational change. I can be reached on +919822024037. Please feel free to seek clarifications by writing to me on ajitpkarve@gmail.com or taforyouandme@gmail.com. 

A request: Please take time out to write a comment.

Notes:

*NVC: Non Violent Communication.

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Comments

  1. Thehseen3 Feb 2018, 15:36:00

    This is a blog that is well written and useful. Like a nourishing pill, it revitalises. Thank you for the same. It is true that we engage in certain thoughts and behaviour that lead to us experiencing inauthentic feelings. Then we seek strokes for those fake feelings. People keep complaining or worrying about the same things over and over again. In the case of the person at the railway station worrying over the late train, wouldn't it be best to just develop a willingness to be okay with whatever happens. Wouldn't thinking about the worst scenario, whenever there is uncertainty be counterproductive? But if we can be at ease with each moment whichever way it unfolds, life would be so much easier. Bracing for the worst does lessen the blow if it comes but many times it may not and even if it did, wouldn't it be better to deal with it as it unfolds instead of losing precious other moments? This does not mean being unprepared or not having backup plans but it means doing our best and being okay with whatever unfolds. Just sharing my thoughts on this...
    Anyway I also wanted to add that everyday reading this blog is something I really look forward to. It also reignites my desire to pursue TA more deeply... Thank you..

    ReplyDelete

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