TA in Pills - 1-8.7 TA Script Theory 7 - Becoming Script-free 1

TA Script Theory 7

(Script is a self authored life plan written in early childhood. It governs the general course of a person's life. It is 'directed' to achieve a life goal or script payoff. )
"Words with special meaning are marked * in text and explained in Notes"

Becoming Script-free - 1

Eric Berne is a rare author who provides solution before laying out the problem. He says this:

1. How do you say Hello? 
2. How do you say Hello back? and 
3. What is everybody doing instead of saying Hello? 

He provides answers soon after the questions. They are these:

1. In order to say Hello, you get rid of all the trash which has accumulated in your head ever since you came home from the maternity ward.
2. In order to say Hello back, you get rid of all the trash in your head and see that there is somebody standing there or walking by, waiting for you to say Hello.
3. After you say Hello, you get rid of all the trash that is coming back into your head; all the after-burns of all the grievances you have experienced; and all the reach backs of all the troubles you are planning to get into.

He then proceeds to say this: You will be speechless and will not have anything to say. It will be only after years of practice that you might think of something worth saying. **

I invite you to read this portion at least three times. 

Hello is the 'magic' key to live our life sanely, happily and peacefully. Berne says:

• The word 'trash' is used in a philosophical sense.
• It is 'trash' that has led to wars, famines, pestilence and death, and in survivors mental confusion.
• It is Martian that will help to eliminate these plagues.

Wow . . . . . so simple, as yet next to impossible. I am myself dumbfounded. I find it difficult to write anything more. The rest of this blog is to say what I understand.

Trash is another word for garbage. Assume that each

• adverse thought 
• adverse feeling 
• adverse opinion 
• blame, hurt, pain, anger, insult, embarrassment 
• feeling unloved, feeling unrecognised
• every adverse experience of being no good 
• every experience of being incompetent, confused, taken for ride, being cheated, being wronged 
• after-burn* and reach-back*

has unit weight of a gram. How much trash or garbage are we, each one of us, collecting every day. Even by a rough estimate I would say 50 to 250 grams a day. By my age of 40 @ 100 grams per day I would have collected a little over two tons of garbage. My god.

How to become Script-free 

• Stop collecting garbage or trash
• Disengage from generating after-burns and reach-backs
• Love*, like, admire people
• Accept oneself unconditionally
• Implement 'forgiveness' exercise*
• Generate, harbour and express love*
• Be friendly*unto all and in particular those with whom you live, work and spend time
• Love the person and ignore the behaviour of yourself and others as well
• Appreciate the other before appreciating yourself
• Say something nice about the other before saying something nice about yourself

Note: All these apply to me as well. I am working with them for years and they have and are rewarding me immensely.

Some more tips follow in the coming blogs.

This blog comes from Ajit Karve from Pune. I am a qualified TA Practitioner. I specialise in using TA for personal growth, personal development, personal effectiveness and for transformational change. I can be reached on +919822024037. Please feel free to seek clarifications by writing to me on ajitpkarve@gmail.com or taforyouandme@gmail.com. 

A request: Please take time out to write a comment.

Notes:

*After-Burn Engagements in thoughts of people, happenings, events, experiences, opinions of times past.
*Reach-Back Engagements in thoughts of people, happenings, events, plans, goals, targets, activities of times yet to come.
*Forgiveness Consciously and deliberately taking steps to make thoughts about a person, event, experience, or belief to pass through our mind space repeatedly till it stops causing any ripples of non-acceptance, anger, dislike, hate, resentment, hurt, pain, isolation, adverse thinking among may other mind engagements.

*Love Having Respect, Regard, Recognition for/ about/ toward another. Accept self and another, Admire self and another, Bring to mind Achievements, good acts, help rendered, Grant Authority, Freedom and Independence, Have Trust and Faith in the other. 

*Attributes of being friendly: Like, appreciate, have esteem, overlook unlikeable traits, love and be affectionate.

**Berne E., What Do You Say After You Say Hello? - Introduction pgs. 22-23

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