TA Pills for You and Me

List of Blogs on Transactional Analysis  Sr.           Date                                        Title  No.    dd/mm/yyyy  --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 00.                                  Ajit Karve the blogger and purpose of his blogs 01.      10.02.2018          1-1.1 What is Transactional Analysis 1 02.      25.01.2018          1-1.2 What is Transactional Analysis 2 03.      25.01.2018          1-2 Why Should One Learn Transactional Analysis 04.      26.01.2018          1-3.1 TA Theory of Personality 1 05.      27.01.2018          1-3.2 TA Theory of Personality 2 06.      27.01.2018          1-3.3 TA Theory of Personality 3 07.      28.01.2018          1-3.4 TA Theory of Personality 4 08.      28.01.2018          1-4.1 TA Stroke Theory 1 09.      29.01.2018          1-4.2 TA Stroke Theory 2 10.      29.01.2018          1-5.1 TA Theory of Transactions 1 11.      29.01.2018          1-5-2 TA Theory

TA Game Theory 3 (Games are unhealthy interactional mechanisms.) (People play games unawarely. Games generate unpleasant feelings.) (Games deny having happy, joyful, rewarding relationships.) "Words with special meaning are marked * in text and explained in Notes" So, what are games then. Games are unhealthy* interpersonal engagements. Participants get 'hooked on' to them unawarely because they are 'rewarding' and have an aspect of mutuality. They are repetitive though the outcomes are dramatic and unpleasant though predictable. People usually play one of three 'drama' roles when engaged in games - Persecutor, Rescuer and Victim. Here are some examples: 1. Let me show you how - Housewife is Persecutor and maid is victim. Housewife regularly batters the maid about the many mistakes she makes. One day the maid leaves out of desperation. She has then played out her game of NIGYSOB. 2. Wooden Leg is played by a student who is inattentive

TA Game Theory 2 (Games are unhealthy interactional mechanisms.) (People play games unawarely. Games generate unpleasant feelings.) (Games deny having happy, joyful, rewarding relationships.) "Words with special meaning are marked * in text and explained in Notes" Games usually occur in environments where people know each other fairly well. They have a sort of interlocking agenda at the psychological level. Games occur at home, in family circles, in social circles, in offices and organisations, in politics and sports where accusations and counter accusations are common place. The underworld is no exception. They play what are called tissue games. I am using this blog to provide a fair overview and understanding of what games really are before moving to a theory overload. I invite you to watch these four short one minute videos on YouTube to illustrate games.  Video 1  shows how small fish jump at boat occupants' faces by the dozen. They leave almost no rip

TA Game Theory 1 (Games are unhealthy interactional mechanisms.) (People play games unawarely. Games generate unpleasant feelings.) (Games deny having happy, joyful, rewarding relationships.) "Words with special meaning are marked * in text and explained in Notes" Game happens to be the most common cause for disputes, misunderstandings, hurt and broken relationships, marriage and partnership breakups, conflicts and physical, mental, emotional and psychological turmoil. No person is free of engagement in game. The question is not whether or not I engage in gamy interactions. The question is what is my favourite game. To find out we can answer these questions: 01. What happens again and again I do not like. 02. How does it start - How does the conversation begin and proceed. 03. Then what happens - How shift happens from subject to person. 04. Then what happens - Escalation in blaming, justification and protecting one's view. 05. Then what

TA Theory of Transactions 3 (Transactions represent the need to interact with others.) (for * see notes at end of this blog) Special Types of Transactions: Carrom Transactions:  Carrom is a board game. A striker is used to net pieces. An expert player uses a side of the board or another piece when netting a piece. By so doing another or other pieces are positioned to be ready for netting. Similarly in a carrom transaction A says something to B, but it is meant for C or many others. They have an impacting effect in certain conditions. Hidden agenda or purpose is thus (knowingly or unknowingly, deliberately or unintentionally) serviced. Here are some examples to elaborate: 1) Mother is telling father as she is putting the child to sleep that he is not doing too well in math, science or some other subject; or that he has become too mischievous these days;  or that he brought something home from a neighbour's house; These statements get planted in the child's mind. Th

TA Theory of Transactions 2 (Transactions represent the need to interact with others.) (for * see notes at end of this blog) Transactions are units of social interaction. They help people in recognising each other, in establishing a connect with one another and in hosting communication between them. Transactions help in exchanging a commodity. The commodity is stroke. Therefore the impact of transactions is dependent on the strength, quality and impact of strokes they deliver. This is an important difference between an interaction and a transaction. A transaction comprises a transactional stimulus and a transactional response. Therefore a transaction is a transaction if and only if ego states are involved. As an example: "Something is happening there." is not a transaction. But "Look, something is happening there." is a transaction. Simple Transactions:   There are two types of simple transactions. They are complementary transactions and crossed transact

TA Theory of Transactions 1 (Transactions represent the need to interact with others.) (for * see notes at end of this blog) A says something to B and B says something back to A in response. For example:  Sam says to Ravi - "Hi Ravi. How are you doing?" and Ravi replies - Hi Sam. I am fine. And you? The communication from A to B is called a transactional stimulus and the communication from B to A is called a transactional response. A transactional Stimulus and a related transactional Response together constitute a transaction. A transaction is a unit of social interaction.  Transactions afford mutual recognition. A transaction originates in an ego state in one person and is directed at an ego state in another person. Transactions are therefore vectors. They help to identify the predominant ego states people use in their interactions with others. The nature of interactions change with people, roles, place, time, situation, circumstances and reasons. Mostly interact

TA Stroke Theory 2 (We can live without food and water for a few days. We cannot live without strokes for an hour. Stroke deficit contributes to isolation, loneliness and boredom.) (for * see notes at end of this blog) Things to remember about stroking: 1. In giving there is receiving. It means that the type of strokes we give others has a resulting impact on our own well being. Our well being can be enhanced by choosing to give healthy strokes to others. If not anything else, at least a smile. 2. Make strokes intense, impacting and long lasting. 3. Stroking reinforces behaviour. Therefore, withdraw paying attention, blaming, criticising behaviour that is not likeable or desirable. In fact withdraw attention and change the topic. 4. Stroking reinforces behaviour. Therefore, commit to pay attention that is good, likeable, desirable in another. 3. and 4. above can be tried out in the way we criticise maids at home. By withdrawing attention from the undesirable (not cl

TA Stroke Theory 1 Click here for List of Blogs (We can live without food and water for a few days. We cannot live without strokes for an hour. Stroke deficit contributes to isolation, loneliness and boredom.) (for * see notes at end of this blog) Rene Spitz was an eminent Austrian psychoanalyst. He concluded that deficit in physical touch, cuddling and caring during infancy seriously affects neurological development and generates psychological weak-spots. The condition is called hospitalism. ' click here ' to know more about Rene Spitz, anaclitic depression and hospitalism. Stimulus hunger is a psychological hunger. It shows up as our need to be noticed, looked at, spoken to, be heard, be touched - if not physically then by way of appreciation, loved and treated affectionately, cared and nourished. All these activities afford recognition.  Stroke  is a unit of recognition. It is the principal way of social action*. Strokes are many and varied. People use many t

TA Theory of Personality 4 (We are victims of our nature. Nature is structured by activated personality structures.) (for * see notes at end of this blog) The previous blog ' click here ' provides a method to build a robust, strong, effective personality.  We gain what is called 'social control' by having a well developed personality. We live in an environment in which we are either being manipulated by others, or we are ourselves manipulating others. We regret, feel bad, get angry, or become anxious because we either did wrong to another or some one else wronged us. Social Control is the 'latent'* capacity in each one of us which helps us to control the tendency to manipulate other people in destructive or wasteful ways. It also helps us to control the tendency in us to respond without insight or option to the manipulations of others. Assuming self-responsibility* for generating conscious awareness helps us to gain this capacity. A previous blog

TA Theory of Personality 3 (We are victims of our nature. Nature is structured by activated personality structures.) (for * see notes at end of this blog) How does study of TA Theory of Personality help us in Living Life Any person, animal, thing, situation, problem, difficulty, condition, challenge, conflict, event, occurrence, incidence, happening whether actual or imagined that affects us is 'Reality' . Reality generates a reality situation . We ourselves are at times generators of reality situations. The challenging task is to end reality situations sanely, safely and effectively.  We generally have three methods to resolve reality situations. (1) By implementing reality principle (2) By implementing pleasure principle and (3) By implementing passivity. Reality Principle enables us to wait, assess, evaluate and then act. Pleasure Principle coaxes, urges us to act impulsively. Passivity results in inaction, inappropriate action or ineffec

TA Theory of Personality 2 (We are victims of our nature. Nature is structured by activated personality structures.) (for * see notes at end of this blog) Behaviour: Behaviour means the way one speaks, expresses, acts or conducts oneself. It displays the state of one's mind, attitude and orientation. Albert Mehrabian ( see here ) is well known for his studies on the content of communication, especially when it is loaded with feelings). It has three components . (1) The verbal content of expression and diction*. e.g. What do you want? vs What is it that you want? vs Is there something that you want? The verbal content comprises choice of words and the structure of sentences. (2) The way one expresses verbally. Volume, tone, pitch and stress alter the meaning of what is said. (3) Non-verbal content: Non verbal content comprises facial expressions; movements, postures and gesticulations using hands and arms and fingers; and posture, stance and pose;  ~~~~~ Func