TA in Pills - 1-6.3 TA Game Theory 3
TA Game Theory 3
(Games are unhealthy interactional mechanisms.)
(People play games unawarely. Games generate unpleasant feelings.)
(Games deny having happy, joyful, rewarding relationships.)
"Words with special meaning are marked * in text and explained in Notes"
So, what are games then. Games are unhealthy* interpersonal engagements. Participants get 'hooked on' to them unawarely because they are 'rewarding' and have an aspect of mutuality. They are repetitive though the outcomes are dramatic and unpleasant though predictable. People usually play one of three 'drama' roles when engaged in games - Persecutor, Rescuer and Victim. Here are some examples:
1. Let me show you how - Housewife is Persecutor and maid is victim. Housewife regularly batters the maid about the many mistakes she makes. One day the maid leaves out of desperation. She has then played out her game of NIGYSOB.
2. Wooden Leg is played by a student who is inattentive in class and the complementing game is played by the teacher who plays 'let me help you'.
3. Schlemiel is played by a person who inadvertently makes mistakes (like spilling tea, hurting self) and earns the wrath of the parent, spouse, supervisor or boss.
4. Kick Me is played out by a rescuer who offers a helping hand again and again and ends up being victimised.
5. Cops and Robbers is played by people who think they are smart and can break law. They are eventually caught and punished severely.
6. Rapo is a game played in many formulations. The noticeable ones are sexual. They can be noticed in parties. The female is invitingly dressed. The advances of a male are responded by "I appreciate your compliments and thank you very much." If the man is a hard player he gets rebuked at the toilet door. Hard Rapo ends on the bed. But the lady gets rid of him when he is charged and ready. The man plays kick me. Allegations of sexual assault may could be result of Rapo.
Games are segments of life time engagements called scripts. They further the script controlled life plan in parts. A business person may methodically borrow money from many people as 'investment'. Subsequently he gets identified, tried and jailed. Investors are innocent victims in this game. Both get rewarded for what they seek at psychological level.
Game starts with a CON. Con can be an action, behaviour, statement, view, opinion, assessment, expression, request and the like. CON is a hook with a bait.
The other player has a corresponding GIMMICK meaning a soft spot. It gets hooked on to the CON because of 'need mutuality' at the psychological level.
RESPONSE is a term for the series of interactions that follow which are un-dramatic. This phase can last from one interaction to very many interactions, discussions, arguments and the like.
SWITCH is the sudden shift from topic of discussion to an allegation, remark, blame, opinion, that reflects on how the other person is. Example: Discussion about why I spoke something to another shifts to being told "You don't know how to speak." This usually happens as a slip of tongue. It is released so to say. It expresses the bias one has about the other.
CROSSUP is the lull that follows the switch. Both parties are taken aware about the outcome. The outcome itself was unintended at conscious level. However it serves to further the psychological agenda. So there is no back-tracking. Justification and blaming follows in the minds of both. Both turn out victors (in their own way and for good reason or bad).
PAYOFF is the resulting 'reward'. The payoff could be physical, material, financial, emotional, psychological, relationship breakups among many others. It is painful, hurting and difficult to forget. Pain, hurt, insult, embarrassment, loss, injury, loss of esteem or pride are some payoffs.
These stages are laid out in the Bernian Formula G:
1. Let me show you how - Housewife is Persecutor and maid is victim. Housewife regularly batters the maid about the many mistakes she makes. One day the maid leaves out of desperation. She has then played out her game of NIGYSOB.
2. Wooden Leg is played by a student who is inattentive in class and the complementing game is played by the teacher who plays 'let me help you'.
3. Schlemiel is played by a person who inadvertently makes mistakes (like spilling tea, hurting self) and earns the wrath of the parent, spouse, supervisor or boss.
4. Kick Me is played out by a rescuer who offers a helping hand again and again and ends up being victimised.
5. Cops and Robbers is played by people who think they are smart and can break law. They are eventually caught and punished severely.
6. Rapo is a game played in many formulations. The noticeable ones are sexual. They can be noticed in parties. The female is invitingly dressed. The advances of a male are responded by "I appreciate your compliments and thank you very much." If the man is a hard player he gets rebuked at the toilet door. Hard Rapo ends on the bed. But the lady gets rid of him when he is charged and ready. The man plays kick me. Allegations of sexual assault may could be result of Rapo.
Games are segments of life time engagements called scripts. They further the script controlled life plan in parts. A business person may methodically borrow money from many people as 'investment'. Subsequently he gets identified, tried and jailed. Investors are innocent victims in this game. Both get rewarded for what they seek at psychological level.
Game starts with a CON. Con can be an action, behaviour, statement, view, opinion, assessment, expression, request and the like. CON is a hook with a bait.
The other player has a corresponding GIMMICK meaning a soft spot. It gets hooked on to the CON because of 'need mutuality' at the psychological level.
RESPONSE is a term for the series of interactions that follow which are un-dramatic. This phase can last from one interaction to very many interactions, discussions, arguments and the like.
SWITCH is the sudden shift from topic of discussion to an allegation, remark, blame, opinion, that reflects on how the other person is. Example: Discussion about why I spoke something to another shifts to being told "You don't know how to speak." This usually happens as a slip of tongue. It is released so to say. It expresses the bias one has about the other.
CROSSUP is the lull that follows the switch. Both parties are taken aware about the outcome. The outcome itself was unintended at conscious level. However it serves to further the psychological agenda. So there is no back-tracking. Justification and blaming follows in the minds of both. Both turn out victors (in their own way and for good reason or bad).
PAYOFF is the resulting 'reward'. The payoff could be physical, material, financial, emotional, psychological, relationship breakups among many others. It is painful, hurting and difficult to forget. Pain, hurt, insult, embarrassment, loss, injury, loss of esteem or pride are some payoffs.
These stages are laid out in the Bernian Formula G:
Con + Gimmick = Response ==> Switch ==> Crossup ==> Payoff
C+G=R=>S=>X=>PO
The ways to end games are covered in the next blog.
This blog comes from Ajit Karve from Pune. I am a qualified TA Practitioner. I specialise in using TA for personal growth, personal development, personal effectiveness and for transformational change. I can be reached on +919822024037. Please feel free to seek clarifications by writing to me on ajitpkarve@gmail.com or taforyouandme@gmail.com.
A request: Please take time out to write a comment.
Notes:
Unhealthy: Fulfil as many as ten needs. These are laid out in the first blog on game 'click here'.
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