Reasons Why We Should Learn and Practice Transactional Analysis
Why should we learn and practice Transactional Analysis
We are all different. We are from different walks of life. We play different roles through a day’s time. We shoulder different responsibilities. Situations, problems, challenges, difficulties and conditions pop up as if from nowhere. William James (1842-1910) was a famous American Psychologist. He said that we are affected by whatever we possess, by the persons we encounter, meet, interact with and relate to during the course of a day, and by the rules and matters of conscience that we happen to break. (Berne E. Essay titled ‘The Ego’ - an unpublished article from the Berne Archive). The same event affects different persons in different ways. Our association, interpretation and gap in expectations largely determines the nature of affect. We are also affected by the wrong caused to us or caused by us. We all seek peace of mind and happiness. We wish that our mind be free of active engagement. Many of us may not be aware that it is engaged in active thinking, evaluating and making assessments. It is locked in matters of the past and in matters that are yet to happen or to be done. Therefore it is rarely used to deal with the here and now reality.
Transactional Analysis is a theory of Time Structuring. We have six psychological hungers to satiate. Our time is structured in order to organise the best possible means to obtain fulfillment of the six hungers. People who are free of being‘script’ driven are able to free themselves from being dragged into the effects of events long past and those that are yet to happen. They are aware and do it deliberately for good reason. There are different types of time and we engage in them in various ways.
There are three types of time. Clock time, Goal Time and Psychological Time. Set time or calendar time is another name for ‘Clock Time’. Here the activity is determined by the time assigned to run it. A game of football is an example. ‘Goal Time’ is the time span determined by the activity one is engaged in. Here the time is determined by the activity. A game of baseball is an example. Some activities are determined by a combination of both these times. A game of boxing is an example. The assigned time and the event of knock-out are the two determining factors. Berne adds Clock Time ‘Can’, Clock Time ‘Can’t’, Goal Time ‘Can’ and Goal Time ‘Can’t’ as further determinants.
Clock Time Can - You need plenty of sleep, so you can stop at nine. This is relieving.
Clock Time Can’t - You need plenty of sleep, so you can’t work after nine. This may result in insomnia.
Goal Time Can - Your work is important. So you can stay up and finish it. This is relieving.
Goal Time Can’t - Your work is important. So you can’t go to sleep till you finish it. This may result in coronary disease.
Combination - You have to finish your work by nine so you can sleep. This generates the ‘hurry up’ syndrome.
(Berne E. What Do You Say After You Say Hello). Psychological Time engagements are noticeable during the Games we ‘Play’. It is also noticeable during the intense mind engagement that follows the generation of game ‘Payoffs’. (Berne E. Games People Play). It is noticeable during the Emotional Overcharge engagements - Rackets. Psycholgocial Time engagement is the name for the overlap of ‘Reach-backs’ and ‘After-burns’. We, by thinking about ‘what we will be having for breakfast, or about how good the lunch was’ while we are having dinner is an example. Its intense versions are manifest when thinking about our timed goals to be achieved and the evaluations of activities that are completed. (Berne E. What Do You Say After You Say Hello). Psychological Time engagements deprive us of the opportunity to be in contact with the present moment. They also deprive us of the need to remain connected and engaged with the activity at hand. Time is spent by many of us in scripty living. We can be consciously aware about the way we are presently spending time, although living free of script is a tall call. Transactional Analysis practice helps us to gain this awareness and move to autonomy again and again.
We act in response to imagined expectations of others. We also have imagined expectations of others. The generation of these imagined expectations happens because of ‘existential meaning’, ‘psychological meaning’ and ‘semiotic meaning’ of our experiences and evaluations of reality. When we choose to move away from these meaning controllers we can move out of dysfunctional mind engagements and return to peace of mind at short notice. Transactional Analysis practice helps us to implement this exercise.
I, you, we, they are identifiers used in conversations. A conversation becomes gamy when the content of discussion moves from what is being spoken to how the person is or persons are. When a discussion about cars and driving skills moves to how bad one of the persons involved in the conversation is at driving or some other person is at driving makes the conversation gamy. Returning to the original conversation’s subject ends the game. Transactional Analysis practice helps us to implement this exercise.
We all need attention, recognition and psychological nurture. These words describe ‘stroke’. While good stroking fosters healthy living, stroke deprivation and ‘not-good’ strokes results in scripty living. In the latter case we seek out events and opportunities to reinforce our scripty beliefs through the medium of distorted stroking. Distorted stroking is a window to understanding scripty living. Transactional Analysis practice helps us to become free of scripty living.
Scripty living can be rewarding for good or for worse. It is very necessary to be free of scripty living for worse. Hurt relationships; bodily, mental and emotional hurt; roller coaster living; repeating losses and failures; experiencing confusion, indecision, incapacity in solving problems and ending situations; experiencing stuckness in thinking engagements, in escalated and charged emotional states; in experiencing being the perpetrator or victim of persecution; experiencing stuckness in intense mind talk; experiencing neglect, isolation, or loneliness; experiencing being cheated, taken for a ride, or being let down; accident proneness; substance abuse or addiction; desire for or fantasizing abnormal sex; urge to engage in inappropriate sexual advancement or cause sexual abuse or assault; craving to give back or hurt another or self; blankness; are signs of scripty living for worse. Transactional Analysis practice helps us to become aware of these tendencies and helps us to become free of them.
We have no control over the significant events that we face on a daily basis. Events and interactions with people generate reality situations. It is our responsibility to exercise the reality principle and gain social control. We can then end situations and solve problems. Transactional Analysis practice empowers us to act appropriately to deal with events, situations and people sanely, safely and aimed at generating win-wins.
Many of us are battered by punitive mind talk. Many of us are likewise deprived of the capacity to enjoy living happily. The source of punitive mind talk comes from the Punitive Parent. The reason for not being able to enjoy living happily is because the Free Child is not liberated. Installing a non-punitive Parent and liberating the Free Child is possible by practicing Transactional Analysis. A permissive Parent and a acquiescent Free Child afford an empowered Adult to be in charge.
All of us are engaged in activities. Thinking, feeling, speaking, discussing, interacting, acting, doing, performing, perceiving, experiencing, evaluating, judging, mind engagements, flights of fantasy and autistic thinking are some of them. Others are ending situations, solving problems, overcoming difficulties and conditions, facing challenges and challenging situations, and resolving conflicts. Still others are dealing with urges, drives and impulses. Still others are fulfilling our needs, wants, desires and dreams. Some others are accomplishing goals, targets, tasks and commitments. Some others are our daily chores, home and social obligations and duties. How to be adept at executing these activities sanely and safely is learnt by practicing Transactional Analysis.
There is a programme that runs our life. The way our life runs, reveals whether the programme is a desirable one or not. I am treated unfairly; People are not trust-worthy; My life is one big duty; Happiness is only a dream; are some of the core beliefs that structure our life. These are only some of many possible ones. That the programme has become activated is revealed in part by the way our repeating patterns of thinking, feeling, holding emotional escalations, feeling cornered or urge to give back show up. Other ways in which this happens is by our fantasizing and autistic thinking. Still others are the way our typical bodily sensations show up or the way our somatic ailments escalate. By practicing Transactional Analysis we gain the ability to be consciously aware of these becoming activated and to act to be free of them.
We usually respond to reality by doing nothing, by being extra nice, by aggressive response, by becoming agitated, by victimisation, by causing harm to ourself or others, by one of our typical compulsive behaviours, or by denying ourselves or our entitled endowments. These response patterns and some others represent use of discounting instead of responding appropriately (this is called accounting). Practicing Transactional Analysis enables us to be consciously aware of such ‘programmed take-overs’. It helps us to take charge of our life.
Respect, regard, recognition, attention, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, and enjoying freedom and independence are some of the things all of us want. Many of these are denied to us. We keep smarting in pain and denial because some or many of them cannot be enjoyed by us for one reason or another. We become adept in assuming responsibility for obtaining fulfillment of our needs and wants by practicing Transactional Analysis.
Being systematic, methodical, organised, professional, well informed, professionally competent, adopting a well thought sane approach are some of the ways in which one can work. It helps to be good in the practice of one’s business, profession, work role, and life at home. Most of us are trapped by demands of time and energy. Transactional Analysis practice helps us in living life in a balanced manner.
Work life integration is an important area to master. Creating a meaningful balance between the demands of one’s occupation, of home responsibilities as well as responsibilities toward family members, friends and most important of all oneself is a challenge for one and all. Practicing Transactional Analysis helps in achieving this meaningful balance.
Our life patterns are one or some of these: not until, only after, never, always, again and again, blank. Practicing Transactional Analysis helps us to reveal to us the prevalent life patterns and act to be free of their overpowering control.
There are many type and trait personality theories. They reveal our psychological strengths and weaknesses. They also tell us about healthy traits and one’s we lack. Transactional Analysis practice helps us to balance our strengths and weaknesses so that we are not victimised by either of them.
Our psychological and emotional health is assured when we learn and practice living in a healthily stimulating environment. Scripty living is revealed by ‘redefining transactions’ and ‘stroke economy’. Knowing what these terms mean and how to overcome the shortcomings that they signal helps us to live in rewarding ways. Practicing Transactional Analysis helps us in achieving this.
We grow into adulthood by passing through many types of developmental stages. Cognitive, emotional, social, sexual, psycholgocial, developmental theories identify the stages for us. We may have cleared some of these stages successfully. In some others we may not have been as successful. They leave a dent in our capacity to deal with reality situations. Practicing Transactional Analysis helps us to know about the various developmental theories and gain wellness by becoming responsive to demands thrown up by them at us.
We grow into adulthood passing through the infancy, childhood, latent years, teenage years and youth phases of growth. All the persons of these ages are still alive in us. We need to be aware about this. The needs of each of these phases show up from time to time in us. Practicing Transactional Analysis helps us in gaining awareness and in knowing how to deal with the demands when they arise.
Years 3 to 6, 16 to 19, 22 to 25, 29 to 32, 41 to 44, 42 to 45, 55 to 58, 60 to 63, 68 to 71, 79 to 82 and 81 to 84 are periods of our active life when we face challenging periods. These are years of identity stage as per Pamela Levine’s Developmental Cycles of Human Development. Knowing the challenges we pose and face helps us to learn to live life sanely and effectively; and at the same time retaining loving relationships on even keel. They also challenge partnerships and business relationships.
Knowledge of Transactional Analysis Game Theory and Stephen Karpman’s Game Drama Triangle helps us to know how conflicts show up in home and working environments. This knowledge coupled with the skills to tide through them helps us to resolve conflicts and manage conflicts effectively. Practicing Transactional Analysis helps to become adept in these practices.
Child is the Father of Man. This statement is contained in the poem ‘The Rainbow’ written by William Wordsworth. The contents of the Parent in the Child of the personality of an individual largely determines how a person’s life will reveal itself in its significant aspects of life. The practice of Transactional Analysis helps to take charge of life especially when it misses its effective path and moves to lead to serve the ‘Script Goal’.
Times are easy and challenging. Persons spend time being alone and in the company of others. Practicing Transactional Analysis helps us to be at ease being alone and also being comfortable in the company of others. It helps us to exert ourselves when the times are favourable and waiting for better times when things are difficult and not in our favour.
Practicing Transactional Analysis helps us to move to intimacy. Intimacy means having the capacity to express one’s views, ideas, feelings and thoughts candidly, openly and honestly to others without innuendos or implied content. It also means to be honest in expressing feelings and thinking without counterfeit content or marshmallows. When interactions result in pain and hurt is the time when we need to move to intimacy. A person practicing Transactional Analysis is able to master the skill of being intimate and moving to intimacy frequently.
Eric Berne, the founder of Transactional Analysis, says this: “A Human Being is a colourful energy system” (Berne E. ‘The Mind in Action’). He goes on to say : “it is full of dynamic strivings. Like any energy system, he is continually trying to reach a state of tranquility.” Like any other energy system, the energy system in man experiences tension. It puts in its best effort to restore balance. Doing this well affords man the capacity to be joyful and enjoy happy living. The energy system in man is structured in the psychic organisation of his personality. A healthy personality helps man to live sanely in a challenging world. Human Behaviour is a manifestation of the organisation of personality structures in response to environmental stimuli. Therefore flaw if any, is in the personality structure and not in man. Therefore Transactional Analysis practitioners make special effort to uphold value, worth, dignity and esteem for the person part of an individual and deal with the personality component in isolation. Practicing Transactional Analysis helps in making sense of this statement: “I am I. You are you. We are different. Our views can and are contradictory at times. We can as yet work together to achieve our common goals. We can also work productively for helping others (not rescuing) to achieve goals for the other.
I conclude by saying is this: : There is but one life to live. To live it well and in rewarding ways is the aspiration of one and all. To know how to go about the job and succeed at making it real is not common. To make the possible is a lifetime effort. One who succeeds is blessed and successful in living his life.
Ajit Karve
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