TA in Pills - 1-6.1 TA Game Theory 1

TA Game Theory 1

(Games are unhealthy interactional mechanisms.)

(People play games unawarely. Games generate unpleasant feelings.)

(Games deny having happy, joyful, rewarding relationships.)

"Words with special meaning are marked * in text and explained in Notes"

Game happens to be the most common cause for disputes, misunderstandings, hurt and broken relationships, marriage and partnership breakups, conflicts and physical, mental, emotional and psychological turmoil. No person is free of engagement in game. The question is not whether or not I engage in gamy interactions. The question is what is my favourite game. To find out we can answer these questions:

01. What happens again and again I do not like.

02. How does it start - How does the conversation begin and proceed.

03. Then what happens - How shift happens from subject to person.

04. Then what happens - Escalation in blaming, justification and protecting one's view.

05. Then what happens - A lull ensues* in the interaction / conversation.

06. Then what happens - People were facing each other like ( and ). After the lull they avoid each other like ) and (

07. They justify their own position or view and critically accuse the other for being the cause. 

08. They spend time in feelings of hurt, pain, insult, embarrassment, sulking, anger, dislike, hate, resentment, being sad, feeling let down, becoming victimised, cheated, taken for a ride, shame, guilt and such like other. 

09. They 'enjoy'* the grandiosity - either for coming out the victor or coming out the loser.

10. They wish the process does not repeat. But soon enough if not later it happens again.

Why do we engage in games then? For quite a few reasons really. 

01. Obtaining strokes. I have mentioned in a previous blog 'click here' (para 3) that painful, hurting strokes are better than no strokes at all. Therefore, unless we consciously and deliberately engage in generating healthy stroking all the while we are likely to fall victim to game. 

02. Structuring time. There are several ways of structuring time. Time structuring is necessary for avoiding boredom, monotony* and stereotypy*. 

03. Reinforcing our beliefs - about ourselves, others and quality of life entitlements - at psychological level.

04. Getting provided with a reason to engage with persons socially.

05. Spending time in pseudo-intimacy. Intimate relationships have their own threats. People avoid being candid, open, honest, forthright in expressing their views, thoughts, feelings, opinions. The round about way of doing these is easily and readily provided by game engagements.

06. Intensifying our chosen feeling or opinion or view about ourself and / or another.

07. Having a reason for coming together fighting and getting away only to come together again.

08. For generating topics for gossip, complaining and obtaining attention by devious means.

09. Getting a reason to keep the mind occupied in thinking, planning, feeling and intensifying emotion and opinion.

10. Reinforcing one's view of oneself - as victor, victim, rescuer, persecutor, reformer, leader, authority figure and such like other.

This blog comes from Ajit Karve from Pune. I am a qualified TA Practitioner. I specialise in using TA for personal growth, personal development, personal effectiveness and for transformational change. I can be reached on +919822024037. Please feel free to seek clarifications by writing to me on ajitpkarve@gmail.com or taforyouandme@gmail.com. 

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Notes:

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Enjoy: Because they prefer not to give up the feeling though it is painful.

Ensues: Follows, takes place.

Monotony: Engaging in repetitive, boring, dull, unrewarding jobs or activities.

Stereotypy: The persistent engagement in a job, task, activity, conversation, entertainment for no obvious reason and without any reward.