Five Contributory Factors that go to generate Script - A Real Turn-on
Understanding Script
Abstract: The fourth of the five contributory factors, namely 'the real turn-on’, is explained.
Berne mentions five contributory factors that go to generate script - (1) Parental directives (2) A suitable personality development (3) A childhood decision (4) A real turn-on to a particular method of success or failure and (5) A convincing attitude or a credible stance . (Berne E. What Do You Say After You Say Hello - Chapter 3) The first three topics have been covered in previous blogs (click here for links : Parental Directives, A Suitable Personality Development and Childhood Decision.) The fourth contributory factor - 'A real turn-on' is now explained.
The word turn-on is used by Berne in a meaningful way. It tells us how in split second a shift occurs in a given course of thinking, evaluating, assessing, responding, acting, doing, speaking or looking at things. The new way triggers a switch in approach resulting in success or failure. It means that the switch is for good or for worse. It also means that it is in the service of actualising the script goal. Berne does not explain what this word means. Other words 'scripty impulse', 'come-on' and 'provocation' come closest to what Berne may mean by what a 'turn-on' is. In this blog the 'turn-on's resulting in disastrous or failure or loss are covered. Some examples from my own life experiences are given here.
1. I was an accident prone person. I used to impulsively overtake vehicles dangerously. These I used to regret later. I had no control in my 'driving style' in the moment prevailing.
2. I used to suddenly switch to alleging, blaming, accusing persons for some event. These were inconceivable to me later on.
3. I suffered from attention deficit. My attention used to be withdrawn when doing things. A a result some damage would invariably result.
4. I would impulsively take up another activity while going down steps. This resulted in missing a step.
5. I used to forget (fail to remember) carrying keys, important documents, testimonials with me resulting in a lot of stress and loss of opportunity.
6. I would impulsively react physically to ordinary stimuli in public places. I remember pulling people back by the collar in railway ticket lines without speaking a word. Thankfully no scuffle ever resulted.
Impulses to run away, to cause harm to self or another, to give back, other forms of autistic thinking, aggressiveness are indicative of take overs by 'turn-on's resulting in avoidable damage, hurt, pain or loss. Many a hurt relationship, divorce, break-away in partnership happens because of this weak-spot. I remember one recent case. The lady repeatedly expressed desire to end her life because then the husband would realise his folly of having an extra-marital relationship and miss her life-long.
The sources of the 'turn-on' are identified by Berne. They are the 'electrode' - the Parent in the Child, the Child in the internal Parent, the demon in the Parent and the demon in the Child. (Berne E. What Do You Say After You Say Hello - Chapter 7, sections C and D.
One can become free of impulsive thinking, evaluating, assessing, responding, acting, doing or speaking by identifying them. A characteristic feature of scripty modes is we justifying, protecting and professing them. Another feature is we expressing helplessness about them. Yet another feature is we failing again and again to remedy them. I practice 'roll-back' and 'move forward in a new way'. What this means is do it again and again in new ways every time I fail. This to me is what Berne means by self-responsibility. Giving up brooding, feeling bad or guilty helps in no way. Notice the failure and put it right then and there.
TA prescribes using 'closing escape hatches' to block taking recourse to harmful outcomes during therapy and counselling. These could be used as affirmations in our daily life by saying this: "I will never ever do or cause to do anything that will either harm myself or harm another." "I will always adopt sane, safe, and rewarding ways to end situations and solve problems." "I give myself the gift of being free of thinking, doing, acting, saying anything impulsively."
The next contributing factor - a convincing stance or credible attitude - will be covered in the next blog.
1. I was an accident prone person. I used to impulsively overtake vehicles dangerously. These I used to regret later. I had no control in my 'driving style' in the moment prevailing.
2. I used to suddenly switch to alleging, blaming, accusing persons for some event. These were inconceivable to me later on.
3. I suffered from attention deficit. My attention used to be withdrawn when doing things. A a result some damage would invariably result.
4. I would impulsively take up another activity while going down steps. This resulted in missing a step.
5. I used to forget (fail to remember) carrying keys, important documents, testimonials with me resulting in a lot of stress and loss of opportunity.
6. I would impulsively react physically to ordinary stimuli in public places. I remember pulling people back by the collar in railway ticket lines without speaking a word. Thankfully no scuffle ever resulted.
Impulses to run away, to cause harm to self or another, to give back, other forms of autistic thinking, aggressiveness are indicative of take overs by 'turn-on's resulting in avoidable damage, hurt, pain or loss. Many a hurt relationship, divorce, break-away in partnership happens because of this weak-spot. I remember one recent case. The lady repeatedly expressed desire to end her life because then the husband would realise his folly of having an extra-marital relationship and miss her life-long.
The sources of the 'turn-on' are identified by Berne. They are the 'electrode' - the Parent in the Child, the Child in the internal Parent, the demon in the Parent and the demon in the Child. (Berne E. What Do You Say After You Say Hello - Chapter 7, sections C and D.
One can become free of impulsive thinking, evaluating, assessing, responding, acting, doing or speaking by identifying them. A characteristic feature of scripty modes is we justifying, protecting and professing them. Another feature is we expressing helplessness about them. Yet another feature is we failing again and again to remedy them. I practice 'roll-back' and 'move forward in a new way'. What this means is do it again and again in new ways every time I fail. This to me is what Berne means by self-responsibility. Giving up brooding, feeling bad or guilty helps in no way. Notice the failure and put it right then and there.
TA prescribes using 'closing escape hatches' to block taking recourse to harmful outcomes during therapy and counselling. These could be used as affirmations in our daily life by saying this: "I will never ever do or cause to do anything that will either harm myself or harm another." "I will always adopt sane, safe, and rewarding ways to end situations and solve problems." "I give myself the gift of being free of thinking, doing, acting, saying anything impulsively."
The next contributing factor - a convincing stance or credible attitude - will be covered in the next blog.
This is a blog by:
Ajit Karve
+919822024037
ajitpkarve@gmail.com
taforyouandme@gmail.com
---
Please leave a comment.
To leave a comment first choose the profile tab and choose Google Profile or Anonymous.
Then you may proceed to leave a comment.
All these are really simple practical ta. Thank u 4 u r wonderful dedication to the world. .Keep going.. more eager to read more. .��
ReplyDeleteSir, the examples given to back up the statement makes it easy to understand the subject
ReplyDelete