TA in Pills - 1-4.1 - TA Stroke Theory 1

TA Stroke Theory 1
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(We can live without food and water for a few days. We cannot live without strokes for an hour. Stroke deficit contributes to isolation, loneliness and boredom.)

(for * see notes at end of this blog)

Rene Spitz was an eminent Austrian psychoanalyst. He concluded that deficit in physical touch, cuddling and caring during infancy seriously affects neurological development and generates psychological weak-spots. The condition is called hospitalism. 'click here' to know more about Rene Spitz, anaclitic depression and hospitalism.

Stimulus hunger is a psychological hunger. It shows up as our need to be noticed, looked at, spoken to, be heard, be touched - if not physically then by way of appreciation, loved and treated affectionately, cared and nourished. All these activities afford recognition. Stroke is a unit of recognition. It is the principal way of social action*.

Strokes are many and varied. People use many types of ways and means to obtain strokes. Painful, hurting strokes are intense, impacting and long lasting. Therefore people say, do, act in ways, behave, respond to gain strokes by hook or by crook. Bad strokes are better than no strokes at all.

Strokes are classified as being - Verbal or Non-verbal, Positive or Negative (meaning healthy or unhealthy) and Conditional or Unconditional (meaning for a reason or without reason).

Any interaction written, spoken, visual, auditory, kinesthetic (by touch) or by expressions which generates a feeling of pleasure or pain is a stroke.

We seek and get the strokes we need. If we are being criticised, blamed, attacked, insulted, ignored or isolated know and realise that we are acting, doing, behaving, speaking, expressing in ways which generate these responses. If we wish to be liked, loved, appreciated and be treated affectionately we need to change our patterns of acting, doing, behaving, speaking and expressing ourselves.

Psychologically healthy people engage in stroke accounting. Stroke accounting is marked by these characteristics:

Giving strokes we have with us to give. (Be candid, honest, forthright while doing so).

Receiving and acknowledging strokes others give to us. (Reject them if they are painful).

Asking strokes that we may need or desire.

Rejecting strokes that are painful.

Engaging in Self Stroking.

Freedom from expecting (in the hope that some divine power will get the other to do justice by) stroking.

Noticing, recognising, appreciating and accepting are the most potent types of strokes. Making them intense, impacting and lasting is an art each one us needs to learn.

Hugging for 15-20 seconds is a healthy method of stroking that gets us to be happy without reason. 

This blog comes from Ajit Karve from Pune. I am a qualified TA Practitioner. I specialise in using TA for personal growth, personal development, personal effectiveness and for transformational change. I can be reached on +919822024037. Please feel free to seek clarifications by writing to me on ajitpkarve@gmail.com or taforyouandme@gmail.com. A request: Please take time out to write a comment.

Notes:

Social Action: Any physical, verbal, expressive activity that gains or affords recognition.

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